Pete Goes High Road AGAIN

XXXXX XX, 2005

RE: XXXXX-- XXXXXXXX-XXXXXXX

XXXXXX Tribunal
Archdiocese of XXXXXXX
XXXXX Street
XXXXXXXXXXX, XX XXXXX

To Whom It May Concern:


I am writing in response to the above mentioned request for information regarding the validity of a marriage between myself and my former spouse. Let me assure the tribunal, that there was, in fact, a valid marriage and that there was a great amount of forethought involved in the decision to marry. The fact that this “lack of due discretion” loophole exists is a farce.

My former spouse was a big believer in “my way or the highway” and she used that principle to her advantage. Instead of working through issues or problems, she turned her back on them and blamed everyone else for the problem, refusing to discuss the issue any further. When we went to see a therapist, when the therapist disagreed with her or said that maybe she contributed to this problem, my former spouse summarily dismissed their opinion or accused me of lying to the therapist. Lying to a therapist is counterproductive in my eyes.

Whereas I felt the prolonged need to try and “work” at my marriage, my former spouse also felt the need to make me “work” at it while she did nothing to nurture it. She demonstrated a distinct lack of respect towards me both in private and in public, witnessed not only by my family, but also by the members of her immediate family. It is my belief, and it was instilled in me by my parents, that marriage is a compromise and a partnership in all things. If someone cannot work or loses his or her job, then the other person works to keep that person going until they can get back up. That is my view of marriage. Cooperation, trust, love, helping and nurturing, that is what it means to me.

However, since this tribunal will convene and a member will make a decision based on testimony given by my former spouse, and people who she felt would have the most “beneficial” answers, I fully expect a ruling in her favor that she had a “lack of due discretion.” However, I must state at this time that your process if flawed. My former spouse sent a request for a written statement to my mother with the directions that it be returned to her. Obviously, it would be discarded by my former spouse when the answers weren’t consistent with the image she is trying to portray and she is a talented actress. When they chose to not participate for that reason, my former spouse went on so far as to request that my father not be allowed to visit his grandchildren at their daycare, which is located in the building that he works in. Once again, a punitive reaction to not getting what she wanted, a common theme throughout our union.

I am not interested in testifying in front of a member of the tribunal. I ask that you please find that that there was not a valid marriage between us “due to her lack of due discretion.” Use that loophole, so she can pursue whatever course she desires in her life. I find this entire process repugnant and it reeks of hypocrisy. I am, quite honestly, at this point ashamed to be a Catholic. I no longer wish to be associated with my former spouse in anyone’s eyes, including the Catholic Church. I am bound to continue my relationship with my former spouse only through my two children, who are both gifts and will serve as a constant reminder of a marriage that “lacked due discretion.”

I do not wish to be contacted, nor do I want any of my family members contacted, regarding this matter. I do not want the contents of this letter shared with my former spouse and I expect that my response to this request for information remain confidential. I only ask that you expedite my request and grant this annulment and notify me of the outcome. The facts of what happened and what ultimately led to the disintegration of our marriage are known and were witnessed by those who need to know, including whatever Higher Power there is.

Please respect my wishes and only contact me when a decision is reached.


Sincerely,


XXXXXXXXXXXXX