Random Rantings-Funny, Critical and Sometimes Downright Nasty

Been Awhile Again

2008-03-27T13:22:00.002-04:00

Updated daily? Who would have thought it would be three months. Let me begin. Late January and all of February were extremely busy. Anyone in this field generally expects the first two months of the year to be, well... very quiet. It was not here.

New work, existing work and the continued updating and revamping of staff has lead us to where we are right now. I refuse to boast, it is not in my nature or best interest. I will say that we have fared way better than I would have expected coming back to work just after New Years with the possibility of a long winter ahead.

While I read with great interest the talk of recession and and the ecomony being in a downward trend (or maybe spiral), it hasn't panned out here as of yet. Yes, people are struggling, no doubt of that. Maybe it is this industry, but we seem to have been able to keep it going for now without any major changes in terms of the bottom line which continues to increase.

While I do make it a point to keep closer contact with the clients that we do have and the new ones we are obtaining, I am still continuing to operate on the SOP.

I AM a Prophet

2007-08-31T11:25:00.000-04:00

Sorry to say it but my last post was almost entirely true.

"I won't tell you what to do, but here is what you need to do."

The Bloodletting has Begun

2007-07-20T11:07:00.000-04:00

So you know I'm leaving and I have transitioned to "Lame Duck VP." The heads are starting to roll. Here is what I'm seeing. I see the Night Supervisor out within the next month, maybe sooner. I see the Receptionist as being out before I leave. I see staff changes and defections and lines being drawn. I see some plans going bad. I'm in my office listening to Dave Matthews and pondering whether or not to work on limiting or mitigating and damage that is occurring here. Of course, I could also open that bottle of Jack that my co worker gave me and put my feet up on the desk and enjoy my adult beverage.

I don't think I can do that. For some strange reason, I don't want to see things here be bad for anyone, even if I gain personally from their misfortune. Weird huh? I should just open that bottle.

New Site

2007-07-13T14:57:00.000-04:00

http://businessrunway.blogspot.com

Independence Day

2007-07-09T12:12:00.000-04:00

I'm free. I'm moving on to other employment. I feel good about it too.

You're a DOUCHEBAG

2007-04-25T12:31:00.000-04:00

I just had the comment pop up on my e mail from a friend of mine in regards to my post "Tales of a Disgruntled Vice President." I went an re read my post. I have come to the realization that I must be profoundly retarded to have thought like this for the last two years and have done very little about it -- OR-- maybe I have done a lot about it and have been astoundingly quiet about it ^^ Insert Evil Laughter ^^

Happy Presidents Day!

2007-02-19T11:53:00.000-05:00

I'm at work.....

Guess it isn't Vice Presidents Day!

Tales of a Disgruntled Vice President

2007-02-09T14:16:00.000-05:00

Let me count the ways in which I lost my interest in dragging the anchor that is this company (which shall remain nameless). Let me see, first there was aunprecedented work throughout the summer months compliments of--- well--- ME! Continued growth in both new accounts and existing ones because of-- ME! A record breaking January- not doubt because of ME!

What should be coming my way? Fat bonus? Pay increase? Company car? Additional perks? Country Club Membership? Added vacation? A Thank You?

I got none of those. Not one. Do I feel unappreciated? Some. Angry? Yes. What will I do?

Here is my opinion.

I put my own plans on hold to ride through this growth that I had brought about. Now I'm strongly considering starting my plans again in earnest. However, I did learn a few things that might help. I though that, you know, I might get rewarded. I might be reviewed and get a nice bonus. I might get something because I have deferred so much. Given myself. So what I think the best option is going to be to cut and bail. Not one to simply make an exit, but a grand one, it will not be quiet and it will require some hefty severeance considering I do know all the information-- good and bad.

Blog Hiatus

2006-09-13T11:33:00.000-04:00

What a hectic summer. Work is at an all time high. Why then, do I feel like that salmon swimming upstream?

Cheap Pricks

2006-08-09T14:31:00.000-04:00

Well my response from Delta went as planned, fell as far as that blue ice does when you flush the toilet in the plane.

Here goes:

Dear Jerk Who Flies Our Bankrupt Airline,

Thank you for your e-mail to Delta Air Lines.
Delta's crews are trained to handle decisions on a case-by-case basis.
In this event, the pilot determined that the operating conditions would not delay the flight.
The flight departed on time and arrived 10 minutes early.
We appreciate your business and trust your future flights will be enjoyable. We hope you will continue to make Delta your airline of choice.

Sincerely,
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Customer Care

No, now you are certainly not my airline of choice. I'll choose another one. Maybe one that actually gave a rats ass about someone. I suppose that is what got you into this mess anyway, along with a combination of other things, mismanagement, things beyond your control, aging aircraft, employee disatisfaction. I could go on and on....

So blow me!

Good Goes Around Some More- Like Napoleon Dynamite Playing that Stupid Ball on a Rope Game

2006-08-08T14:36:00.000-04:00

Ready for more Delta saga? This goes with my letter and response from my post on 5/25/06. I'll paste it all in.

I'm attaching the following story that I saw in the New York Post regarding the "extenuating circumstances" that allowed a flight to be held at the gate for Katie Courics producer. I understand all about delays for security reasons and reasons that are beyond a passengers control, things such as broken trains and the ability to get to ones concourse on foot. My original letter is at the bottonm of this e mail. The train at Hartsfield Jackson was disabled. I was at the gate, but was denied boarding because the flight was overbooked and the ticketing agent released my seats. What extenuating circumstances did her producer have that I didn't? My plane was still sitting at the gate. It sat there for 10 more minutes. I believe that I was discriminated against. I also agree with the passenger from the article who said " If you or I attempted something like this, we'd be cooling our heels at Guantanamo." Raising a strenouous objection at a ticket counter regaring poor customer service and lack of discretion on the airlines part is a no win situation for the passenger. That is no longer acceptable. However, in light of the lukewarm response that I was given by Delta Airlines in regards to my original complaint, I feel the need to point out yet again, that Deltas own spokesman acknowledges that unusual situations happen every day. Why was I summarily dismissed at the ticket counter, directed to a phone and forced to sit in an airport for 9.5 hours? I'd like a true answer.

July 29, 2006 -- KATIE Couric had fellow passengers aboard a New York-bound jet on the warpath this week when, as their plane was about to taxi to the runway, she got out of her seat and begged the pilot to allow one of her late-arriving producers to board.
"It was like, 'Who the hell does she think she is?' " fumed one passenger who observed Couric's diva-like antics. "If you or I attempted something like this, we'd be cooling our heels at Guantanamo."
The witness told Page Six that attendants on Wednesday's 6:30 p.m. Delta Shuttle flight out of Washington, D.C., had already closed the door and passengers were buckled in, when the soon-to-be CBS News anchor raced up the aisle with a cellphone to her ear and told an attendant she had to speak to the pilot right away. Couric was then allowed into the cockpit and convinced the pilot to delay the flight and reopen the door for her producer, Nicola Hewitt.
"One flight attendant rolled her eyes and told me, 'This is only the second time I've ever seen this happen - the other time was a sick passenger,' " the witness said.
A spokesman for Couric confirmed the perky newsgal intervened, but insisted, "Katie only spoke to the pilot after receiving permission from the flight attendant." He said Hewitt had been delayed from getting on the shuttle behind Couric because of an extended security check. Then, trying to put a positive spin on the tale of Couric's chutzpah, the flack added that another late passenger who was also about to be stranded was also able to make the flight.
Delta spokesman Anthony Black said Couric got no special treatment. "The airlines get unusual situations that happen every day, and the crew is trained to make decisions on a case-by-case basis," he said.
Black added that when Couric made her request, the pilot determined that favorable tailwinds would not delay the hourlong flight - and even with the brief delay taking off, the flight arrived at La Guardia 10 minutes ahead of schedule.
Still, our witness - a high-powered public-relations executive who rides the shuttle regularly - said he and fellow passengers were not impressed at the behavior of TV's top news personality, who got a whopping $60 million contract to jump from NBC's "Today" show to CBS.
"Using your celebrity in the post-9/11 age to stop a flight is diabolical," he raged.

Who gives a crap about Katie Couric. Can't she fly private? Surely CBS has enough money to haul her around the country as she feels she should be. Why inconvenience the passenger? Regardless. It is about principle. " A game of horeseshoes!!!"

Hall Monitors

2006-07-28T13:55:00.000-04:00

Seems like I opened a can o worms regarding workplace Nazi-ism.

Putting Pantyhose on a Cactus

2006-07-19T15:03:00.000-04:00

Do you remember what real business was about? Times when companies like IBM and and huge conglomerates were the thing? Enron anyone?

Do you think these companies would be caught dead doing any of this: My take is in this lovely hue called BLUE, or maybe as our liberal corporate types would call it, BLUE, but with all colors of the rainbow, lest we offend anyone

1) "You are now known as a Business Partner, not simply an employee." Sure assholes-- you are a partner-- that is until you ask for profit sharing.

2) " FMLA, of course you can take FMLA to care for your domestic partner." Uh huh, anyone know where Mitt Romney is at? Mayor West??

3) " If your skirt doesn't cover your kneecaps then you will be disciplined." By who? Sister Margaret? " I'll hit you with this yardstick......"

4) "Your mustache and beard must be neatly groomed at all times." We are talking about you too ladies. Too much arm hair is a no no.

5) "All employees must be in this country legally." Yeah, we saw how that worked back in May.

6) " You may take (1) day beareavement time for the death of a pet." If your pet is a cat, you need to work overtime. If your pet is a ferret, you should be hung --just kidding Mark.

7) " You tell them that where Mr. _ _ _ _ _ _ parks is none of their goddamn business." Heh heh heh.

8) "Honestly, I didn't drink 3 martinis with lunch on your dime." Heh heh heh.

9) "Boo, you got stabbed? Why, you stole someones bike? That shouldn't get you stabbed!" Get the F_ _ _ outta heeeyaahhh

10) " Open toes shoes are EVIL." Only if you have feet like Nosferatus hands.

Out

2006-07-17T13:17:00.000-04:00

"not with a bang, but a whimper."

Sac-O-Nuts Heeeaah

2006-06-23T15:29:00.000-04:00

Went to a Yankee game last week. Peanut guy is yelling " Sack of Nuts here-- Buy these nuts- you know you want to eat these nuts." Over and over. Of course it sounded like Deez Nutz, but that makes it even funnier.

NBA Draft

2006-06-21T13:44:00.000-04:00

Now that you can't get that cool Jim Dolan T-shirt anymore, you can still protest the Knicks lack of a clue and mock them at next weeks NBA draft. Go to www.selltheknicks.com for details. Just don't shout at David Stern or you might get fined (See Mark Cuban).

You Should call it SOL!

2006-06-21T13:35:00.000-04:00

An Executive from KLM (the Royal Dutch Airline) has said that he wouldn't be surprised if Delta and Northwest Airlines merged to form one company. Other industry watchdogs have said that this is quite improbable.

What would this new airline be called if they did merge?

Northwest with a Southern Twist? South of Quality? Chapter 11 Squared?

How 'bout SOL Airlines?

"Too late to the gate? Fly SOL! At least you'll know where you stand! We won't give you nuts, but we'll break them for you.

"Duck Folan"

2006-06-07T12:38:00.000-04:00

OK, OK, I know I said I wouldn't post about the Knicks, but this is too funny to stay mum on. Some guys (or girls) set up a webstite, www.selltheknicks.com with nothing but venom for Cablevision magnate and Knicks and Rangers owner James Dolan. They sell shirts and stuff that say things like "Vote for Dolan--Assclown of the Year."

I don't know if I agree with their business acumen, but it is funny.

Well, apparantly these guys have provoked a response from Mr. Dolans camp, pretty much telling them they should stop along with some other legalese.

My humble opinion is this and it is mine alone. I wish Mr. Dolan no ill will. I simply wish he'd sell this fabled franchise to someone who has a clue and let them run it so we can get back to where we belong.

Check out their site, it had me laughing.

"Good Goes Around"-Yeah That's Why You're Bankrupt

2006-05-25T14:03:00.000-04:00

Here is my experience of "Great" Customer Service:

Dear Mr. Stupid Idiot for flying with us,

Thank you for contacting us through delta.com. We are sorry for the delay in responding to your message.
We regret you were not able to make your original flight on April 24th.
All customers traveling domestically must check luggage at the ticket counter, kiosk, or delta.com at least thirty minutes prior to scheduled departure (45 minutes for Atlanta, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Orlando and
Denver) and check in at the gate at least 15 minutes prior to the flight's scheduled departure time.

**I was in Atlanta, Flight time out at 9:07 AM, bags checked curbside at 8:02. Security line 40 minutes, 8:42, Train between terminals disabled, running through terminals, 15 minutes, arrival at counter, 8:59, "Sorry, the door is closed, go make other arrangements." **

Required check-in times are available on delta.com and on ticket jackets. Our information indicates you did not meet the check-in requirement and your seats were released as a result. We regret any misunderstanding.
Again, thank you for writing. We appreciate your selection of Delta and will always welcome the opportunity to be of service.

Sincerely,
Name Removed Cause I'm not too bad a guy
Online Customer Support Desk
http://www.delta.com

Now- I'd like to know-- why can't an airline in the United States of America, show some understanding in the face of a mechanical failure? Surely, I have had to, planes are late or need to be fixed all the time, in fact on another flight I was delayed because the plane "was broken." The train in between terminals was broken, adding fifteen minutes to my travel between security and the gate.

I know schedules need to be kept, the airport is the busiest in the country, I should sit for 3 hours at the gate prior to my departure (sure Dad), but seriously, is a busted train not extenuating?

To add insult to injury, while making my arrangements for a flight 91/2 hours later, I specifically asked where my bags were. I was told they'd be held in Atlanta. Guess what? They went on the plane without me only to sit in baggage claim for 91/2 hours.

Could you give me a few extra frequent flyer miles or a some sort of bone here, maybe a jar of vaseline?

Nothing-- Thanks ever so much.

HAH

2006-05-22T16:48:00.000-04:00

I just re read my post about the proverbial pot..... I just shit... seems liberating.

Get Up

2006-05-22T16:33:00.000-04:00

I haven't blogged, mainly because the few of you that read this would get tired of hearing my maniacal rantings about work and what has been going on behind the scenes. I thought that I might let it wait and then concisely put it out there for view and perhaps experience some kind of cathartic experience.

Also, I haven't quite known what I wanted to do either, but that has gotten clearer in the last 3 days.

So with no ado at all:

I'm going to do it myself. I'm tired of making money for another person. I will make it for me and for others so that they may experience all the good things that my hard work earns for other people. Therefore, I'll be the straw that stirs the drink, but it will be my drink now. I have plans, I was going to give them away so I could still earn an everyday paycheck, but it just rubs me the wrong way. I'm sure it will scare me, but that's how it goes. I'm pulling the strings behind the scenes and trying to negotiate my departure on the right terms and at the right time, but I'm on my way and I don't really like to turn back. One way or the other, by September, it will be over with.

Yes, I'm Movin'

2006-05-04T13:16:00.000-04:00

Career plan is in full effect and if working with much manipulation and hang wringing.....

I saw Flava Flav

2006-04-28T14:42:00.000-04:00

I saw a perfect lookalike for Flava Flav the other day. I'll call him Flava sans clock!

What You Don't Want to Hear at the Airport

2006-04-28T14:31:00.000-04:00

Here are the top things that I don't want to hear while I'm in the airport:

1) "The door is closed."
2) "Don't worry about that there, please check in over here. He was a disgruntled passenger so we tased him."
3) "That blanket is on sale for $40.00, down from $50! No, I didn't realize that is was the size of a large bandana."
4) "The plane is broken."
5) "I have no control over that."
6) "Ladies and Gentlemen- this flight has been overbooked, we are looking for volunteers to..."
7) "Well, I don't know, what would you like for dinner? I don't know, I'll be home at....." This all going on while the guy was pissing in the urinal. I suppressed the urge to throw a paper towel at him, but barely.
8) "I have this red thing on my_____." From the guy sitting next to you.
9) "Could you come over here into this holding area?"
10) "RA TAH TAH TAH TATATATA, PFFFFFT." Again the men's room-- say no more.

Career or lack Thereof.

2006-04-28T13:30:00.000-04:00

I guess I feel creative. Maybe it is from being out of town and seeing new things like you invariably do, you think they are better, but they probably aren't. Maybe it is because I actually had a day or two to relax. Maybe it is because I got to wear shorts for the first time. Anyhow- I feel like there are things to be done on a professional front and that I am being held back. Not quite the feeling that I'd like to have. I think we can be in the big time, but I have a small time leader. I suppose that I should either shit or get off the proverbial pot.. More to come on this front as I figure it all out.

My Book

2006-04-10T14:18:00.000-04:00

" Hey, I've just been contacted by a prestigious literary agent. Seems like she liked my blog and has signed me to a book deal. I've hired an agent and will now make in the high six figures. Whoo hoo, I'm so happy! That is why I started writing this blog and filled it with all this stuff. Now I'm rich and you can all visit me at my new website sponsored by my new publishing house, Utter Acehos. Buy the book, give me money!"

The above is pure BS. It is just because I've seen this in other peoples blogs and was feeling kind of left out.

I'm really not interested in buying some concocted book based the writings of some blogger who set out with an agenda. A lot of the blogs I look at have some really good stuff and a lot of you could probably make some good loot by selling out.

"Oh yeah, and I want to be on blogs of note so my agent can say that I'm noteworthy too!"

**Insert the sound of a dinosaur, any dinosaur, vomiting-- A LOT**

My Brain Hurts

2006-04-10T14:16:00.000-04:00

I was thinking yesterday on my Sunday morning drive to Kingston. Is anyone ever truly happy? This kind of brings us back to last weeks “Are you Happy?”

I think that happiness is a commodity and I believe that almost every human is inherently greedy. There are exceptions, but those are people that are so high on the spiritual plain that I doubt that I will ever meet any of them. We keep looking and looking, when really it is already there. Happiness is a small part, but what you are really looking for is contentment. When you are content, then you are also happy, at least during the time that you are content. At least that is how I see it.

Then take into account that your brain is in essence a mini pharmacy and there is some ridiculous number of chemical reactions going on in your head each second. If you are content or on a smaller level happy, then don’t you think that those reactions will feel much better and have a much better effect on your body. How about resting your brain? How can you do that in the age that we live in? There is the news, internet, radio, pagers, cell phone, where do you unwind? Most of us probably don’t or we medicate ourselves to make us feel like we did. Alcohol, sleeping pills, illicit drugs, prescription drugs, people use these to escape. Why can’t you sleep? Because work, stress, your spouse, sickness, overweight, bulimia, over stimulation…

When is the last time you sat quietly? I don’t know when I have. I’m not talking about sleeping, that is different. Just sitting, watching, listening, not in a rush. We all have to work, pay bills, have responsibilities, have others in our care, but when can you unwind? When you die? When you are worn out and do the ultimate wind down? Some of us will be that way. I think. I’m hoping it isn’t me.

I’m not going to meditate in a corner or take up tai chi, but I’m beginning to question if our connectivity will lower our lifespan.

Fresh Paint

2006-04-07T15:42:00.000-04:00

"Augustin! Get out of my office with that paintbrush you Saddam Hussein lookalike!"

"Que?"

On Second Thought.....

2006-04-07T11:48:00.000-04:00

I mentioned on Mark's blog the other day that I was thinking about killing off this blog, because I was running out of things to comment on. It kind of seemed like I was running low on any type of material that anyone might find interesting, but maybe it was just me being tired or whatever. I looked back through some of the older stuff and decided that I wasn't ready to junk the blog just yet. I kind of like it and it is like a friend of mine.

Are You Happy?

2006-04-05T12:36:00.000-04:00

I picked up my daughter at daycare yesterday.

We got into the car and started driving. From the back seat came, "Daddy-- Are you happy?"

"Yes," I replied. "Are you happy?"

"Yes," she said and set about singing "The Bear Went Over the Mountain" leaving me to wonder why she asked me such a question. Was it because I didn't look happy or because I did look happy? Or did she just want to know?

The Clock is Ticking

2006-04-05T12:30:00.000-04:00

"You start at one place and you end up in an entirely different place, but do you ever reach a point where you feel like you are exactly where you would like to be? Is your career ever good enough? Do you ever make enough money? Do you ever get to drive the car you've always wanted or when you get that car, do you want to get rid of it because there is another? Is the grass greener?"

I'll tell you that it isn't, but will you believe me?

Yada Yada- All You do is Yammer On and On!

2006-03-31T11:48:00.000-05:00

I'm seeing here that I haven't written anything in here for quite some time---AGAIN. Maybe it is time to send the whole thing to the crapper. Anyhow- It has been busy to say the least. Corporate life has intervened and made me work a little bit more, so that on some days there isn't 10 minutes to log some inane shit.

Spring has arrived and has been in its full glory and I am seriously debating taking the time to sit outside with a six pack and watch stuff turn green. I was in CT. yesterday and all the flowers are out already. With the warmer weather here, I can open up the sunroof and the windows and hear some guy blasting hip hop while he's all slouched over in his seat, I mean I did hear hip hop all winter except that it was only the bass line, like when you are at a traffic light and all you hear is "Boom, boom, boom, boom-----bahhh ------boom, boom, boom, boom------bahhhhhhh!
I've wondered though- if you drive all slouched over like that and get in a wreck, does your face fly straight into the spot that is usually reserved for the radio? I have a few people I'd like to ask.

I was at a job yesterday and there were a bunch of Polish tradesman there. One of them was on the phone for two hours yelling at somebody ** In Polish** Funny stuff. "Hallo, Hallo! TFRUTFDYIGFYGFDUYGFYGYGUYFDY Hallo Hallo!"

" Those vaccums look like C-3PO after the Jawas got him."

Have a great day.

Depression Style City

2006-03-13T13:19:00.000-05:00

Right on top of my post from about 2 weeks ago comes this gem. The weather has at least briefly broken. It has been relatively mild for the last three days, with some rain, but made bearable by the warming temperatures. It is overcast, but dry outside right now. This in turn brings out every cloistered character that should just remain holed up all year like Golum (yesssss me's preciouuuusssssss, cansk youssssss getttssss me's a bottttttle ofs rippppppppleeee me's preciouuuuuuusssssssssss?). Is it true that a cockroach will live through a nuclear war? Certainly, these people would, all the ailments of the world wouldn't do away with these festering human beings. Yelling, screaming, yeowing like ferral cats undeneath a bush, running and hiding from any type of employment.

Winter Springs Eternal

2006-03-02T11:29:00.000-05:00

March 2nd-

It is snowing. I don't remember the last time it snowed. I'd rather it stopped.

Three of Seven Isn't Bad

2006-03-02T11:28:00.000-05:00

I've just realized that 3 of the last 7 posts I've written have dealth with the New York Knicks, who are the worst team in the NBA.

My sincerest apologies

THe Stoplight in the Sky

2006-02-24T14:37:00.000-05:00

I was on a commercial flight last week to California. The flight was 5 ½ hours from the East Coast. With a little over an hour left, I saw the absolute strangest thing that I have ever seen out of an airplane window (except where the demon tears into the engine in the Twilight Zone movie).

I was looking out of the left side of the plane, just in front of the wing. Actually, I was looking for any lights over what appeared to be a desolate area. Off in the distance, I could see a glow from a city or something pretty far off. I was listening to music, just kind of staring out there.

Some lights caught my eye and I looked at them. Picture this: there are no lights on the ground to give you that perspective of height, but we were at cruising altitude. There are three lights, right, center (slightly higher), and left coming right at us from the left. It looked like seeing an airplane head on when it is on final approach. I had to repress the urge to get out of my seat and run, because it really looked like we were going to get broadsided by another plane (not that running would help you).

The three lights went out from the right to left, 1—2—3 gone. I looked at the guy next to me to see if he saw anything. He wasn’t paying attention and I’m not going to tell him I saw weird lights out the window. I looked back outside. I saw the exact same thing. Lights 1—2—3 gone. I didn’t look out the window for the next half hour.

The flight was uneventful for the rest of the way.

As I was waiting for my luggage at the baggage carousel, the pilot and co pilot were also waiting for their stuff right behind me. I was tempted to ask them “what was that?” Surely they saw it. I opted against it. I figured that they would tell the “men in black” and they’d find me walking about in the Mojave Desert with Anne Heche.

“ Umm, how’d I get here? I don’t know, where is this? Who am I? Who’s clothes are these? Is that a gold plated toilet seat I’m carrying?”

"Patrick Called- He'd Like HIS Team Back."

2006-02-14T10:34:00.000-05:00

AN OPEN LETTER TO MR. ISAIH THOMAS (GM OF THE NEW YORK KINICKS AND FULLY RESPONSIBLE FOR DESTROYING A STORIED FRANCISE):

I, Pete, humbly request that you please review my resume. I have played playground basketball in that hotbed of basketball talent, otherwise known as the Mid Hudson Valley. While I am not very tall (5'10) and not so fast anymore, and I have a balky knee and a shredded ankle, I believe I can help you.

I have a baskeball IQ, something that few of your players have. I also believe that I could average 3 or 4 points a game and that would be more than most of the team.

While I'm at it, I also think you should take a look at a few of my friends, some of which are better than me at this sport. I also think that you should bring Allan Houston out of retirement to stand on one leg in the corner of the court behind the arc and throw up three point shots, I'm sure he'd shoot at least 40% and who would want to get shown up by a guard standing on one leg?

In all reality, what the hell is going on there?

The "big men" play small, foul out. Bring back Pat!

I want to see Mr. Ewing where he belongs. Not in Houston with Van Gumby or somewhere playing cards with MJ. I refuse to go to another Knick game until Pat is back----or----

YOU ARE GONE!

Happy Valentines Day

2006-02-14T10:28:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentines Day to you. Happy Valentines Day to you.
Happy Val-en- tines to you, I sure do love yew!

Have a wonderful day Tee-Tee and Beet!

Riccardo

2006-02-09T10:38:00.000-05:00

One thing that I distinctly remember from my college days is the high pitched whine of a C-5 cargo plane. They took off every 5 minutes from the AFB nearby.As I was walking to get some lunch yesterday, I heard the same distinct sound. I looked up and saw the plane coming towards us at a distance and at considerable height, but these are huge planes and look well, um, huge as they fly along. I pointed it out to Mark as we continued down the street.

All of a sudden this crack head across the street starts yelling, "Look boss, it's de plane boss! De plane, de plane!"

Yes my crack laden fiend, it is de plane, now step off the curb in front of da bus.

ABC is Retarded Too!

2006-02-06T15:43:00.000-05:00

How is this for an appetizer to whet your appetite for the Super Bowl--- Yesterday, ABC showed the New York Knicks against the Houston Rockets at 12PM. Whooooopie! I'm watching two horrible and boring teams play basketball until 2:30 then in case you aren't sleeping already, you can watch 4 hours of pregame with Michael Irvin and his clueless crew, anchored by Chris Berman and his endless droning. On and on and on .

The Knicks suck. So do the Rockets. Would it have been so hard for the NBA to schedule Nets/Heat or Spurs/Mavericks or something that anyone cared to watch? I was tempted to gouge out my cartoid artery with the jagged edge of a pretzel ( a soft one at that).

The Stupor Bowl was just that. I turned it off and watched Sopranos reruns. When will the NFL figure it out that their officials officially smoke fat hog. There was some pretty bad officiating out there, not just this game, but throughout the playoffs. I think they should mike up that guy that plays Uncle Jun on the Sopranos and let him be the ref. At least he'd be funny.

This just in: The odds are in that Jerome Bettis will weigh in at 450 pounds by Super Bowl 41, 3 less that he weighed last night.

Shannon Sharpe wants to come out of retirement to wear that ridiculous "horse head" hat.

Bill Parcells said he can coax Bettis out of retirement if he allows him "to shop for his own groceries."

Herman Edwards says it is shameful that Bettis retired since he "should finish what he started."

Was it me or did the Rolling Stones flat out suck last night?

I think I saw a woman throw her shower cap at Mick Jagger. Another was asked to leave after she tried to throw her false teeth on stage.

" Mick- you're the best, you are the best looking Muppet Frank Oz ever did the voice for."

" Hmmmm Hmmmmm, Satisfaction , get no can I, Hmmmmm Hmmmmmm."

Random Inane Thoughts

2006-02-03T13:40:00.000-05:00

I hate: those people who get book deals from writing a blog* A pile of dogshit in the middle of the sidewalk that is the exact same color of the sidewalk* People who drive like they are jonesn' for NASCAR*Handlebar mustaches* "You're my bitch."* Larry Browns whining nonsense* Cooking blogs* Dan Patricks haircut* Danica Patrick* Uppity people* The Establishment* Bald men with penis shaped heads* Squirrels* The fire department putting the sirens on to go to lunch* The police doing the same thing.* This f'd up weather* R.E.M* Doorbells* People yelling "YEEEE-OWWWWW" to each other."

The New York Knicks

2006-02-02T14:05:00.000-05:00

I'm so disgusted with my basketball team right now. New York fans appreciate and want to see good basketball. We see none of that from this sorry miscast team. I had a discussion this morning about whether or not it would be hard to be the GM. I don't think so. To put my money where my mouth is, I'll document this right here. This is what I'd do.

Isiah Thomas would be terminated. He wrecks everything he touches. Larry Brown would still be my coach. He gives everything a hint of respectability. If he didn't turn the thing around by the AllStar Break next year, I'd look for a new coach. I'd retain Herb Williams as assistant coach, fire the rest including the athletic trainer, way too many injuries this year. Bring in Ewing, it is a disgrace that he works for another organization, David Wingate and Derek Harper as assistants.
My rationale for this: Ewing works with your big men, Wingate was a defensive stopper, Harper was a hard nosed point guard.

The Team:

Keep the young guys, Frye, Lee, Robinson. Keep Eddy Curry, keep Marbury
Bring Crawford off the bench. Keep Jackie Butler.

Get rid of the rest. Jerome James, Antonio Davis, Woods, Mo Taylor, Malik Rose.

Bring in defined role players or college players and give them a role. " My stopper, my shot blocker, my nuts."

"Hey My Nuts-- Go out there and knock Kobe down when he drives the lane!"

Not so hard a job. The person making their travel arrangements has a harder job.

"Yes, Hi, Sheraton Hotel? Great, I need 17 rooms. One has to have a bed that will accomodate a 7 foot tall man and his pet Gila Monster, one needs to have a view of the street, one has to have a pink bathroom and one needs to have 6 pieces of white toast delivered at 3:15 AM. The coach? Well he needs a hospital bed with a hookup for a catheter .... Thank you. Can we put that on our Cablevision debit card? Oh Fabulous!

Then make them play or get rid of them.

"Huh, Wha?"

2006-02-02T13:54:00.000-05:00

"Please don't use my arm as a napkin."
"Huh?"
"Don't wipe your hands on my shirt."
"Wha?"
"Stop."
"Huh, why not Pee--der?"
"Daddy."
"No, Pee-der, Pee-der Pee- der Pee-der."

Tongue Twister

2006-02-01T12:19:00.000-05:00

From the list of overheard things in the course of conversations comes this GEM:

“Ewwww I don’t like those!”
“Those are brussel sprouts.”
“Yuck!”
“Oh they aren’t so bad! You know what those are? Bushes!”
“No.”
“Yes, Grandpa likes to eat a bush. Grandma? Are there any more bushes in the kitchen?
“Yes, one.”
“Well can you bring me a bush then?”
“Sure.”
“Grandpa loves to eat bush.”

This is a true story and it happened yesterday.

Popeye

2006-01-24T14:51:00.000-05:00

I saw Popeyes sister today right outside the office. She even spoke like him. "Arrrrghhhhh, we's don' needs thisk busk. We's needs the Northsidsk busk. Gets aways froms da curbsk! Acchhh acchhhh achhhh." (as her pipe twirled around in her mouth at mach 3).

"Upchuck On It"

2006-01-24T14:34:00.000-05:00

Maybe you know the Beyonce song "Check On It." Stupid song, but thst is my opinion. After today it will make me want to vomit.

I went to the store down the street to get two things. A picture frame and a soda. What I got made me ill.

The overweight clerk, with no teeth and a "FOPA" was singing along to the song. "Ohhh Boy you lookin' like you like what you see.........

but please hold on while I put in my teeth, baby you can upchuck on it, even maybe vomit on it, go and weigh a fish on it, put some F.D.S. on it, kill a small rat on it, park a fleet of trucks on it, go and braid the hair on it, go gas Ted Bundy on it, go an lose your foot in it, maybe even put both feet in it.....

I could go on.

Scary. Between her and the eye guy..... Maybe the should have banned above ground nuclear testing earlier.

What Happened to Your Eye?

2006-01-24T14:14:00.000-05:00

http://rrantings.blogspot.com/2005/11/id-like-some-bullshit-on-my-pizza.html

You have to read the above link to understand the depth of what I overheard a few hours ago. Go ahead-- Read it, I'll wait.

Done? Are you ready? Here we go (Slick Rick)!

I went for a slice for lunch. Went with Mark, www.nctb.blogspot.com to pick it up. We go in and here is the same moron talking on the payphone. One eye looks like a dog gouged it out and then gave it back because it didn't taste good. Dude smelled like a medical waste bag in the July heat.
As we are waiting he finishes his phone call and sits down with his "friend." They start talking, but are not audible. Then, as we are getting our food, ol' one eye says, "Would you support Hitler if he filled your belly?" No answer from the friend, One eye repeats himeself, a little louder. We're on our way out now, we hear him ask it a third time. We are just laughing about it amazed. The things you hear.

Scary thing is, in a way he is historically correct. Why did the masses support Hitler in the beginning of his reign, regime, government, rule-- whatever you want to call it? Because they were hungry, downtrodden, and tired of the current rule, having already been through WWI, but later nobody supported him, and rightly so, because he was a madman.

Here is a guy who probably last showered shortly after Eisenhower died and he is waxing political about Adolf Hitler in New York State in 2006.

Post Holiday B.S.

2006-01-24T10:54:00.000-05:00

I haven't blogged in awhile, mostly because there isn't a lot to blog about. There is about 10 hours of light right now, it is cold and damp, winter generally. I saw on the news today that many people in the U.S. feel that 1/24 is the most depressing day of the year. Their rationale was that people are paying X-Mas bills, the light, no holiday cheer. I think it has more to do with running out of their Prozac, but I'm not a doctor. Maybe if they went out or enjoyed the company of others more often they'd feel better. I don't know, I guess I don't see it as being all that bad.

Speaking of going out-- I did have the privledge of watching one of my co workers poke themselves in the eye with a straw whilst at an happy hour.

That was a good one.

I saw King Kong- it wasn't too good.

"Ode to the Gross and Nasty"

2006-01-10T14:21:00.000-05:00

Whoever you are, you nasty thing, you filthy snot,
while you are out in our parking lot, you deposited something to the clutter.

No doubt your mind was in the gutter, you abandoned your condom, with its ring of rubber.

But thats not it, what's gross indeed, is that you left it filled with your seed-

Your git gel, your spunk, the remants of ba donk a dunk. Some sculpting gel, some mushroom shake, hopefully it really didn't break.

I'd dare not touch it, I might get the clap, but I'll check the video camera for pictures of a Lombardi Slap.

( True that there was a used rubber in the parking lot. False that I walked within 20 feet of it.)

On New York Sports and Whatever Else

2006-01-10T13:50:00.000-05:00

I'll be the first one to admit it, I thought that the undoing of the 2004-05 New York Jets was Paul Hackett and Doug Brien and his inability to kick a crucial field goal.

I was wrong.

Was this seasons MASH unit of a team any good? Not really after injuries set in, but remember week #1, when the Quarterback couldn't hold onto the ball? When the Chiefs pancaked the Jets. Destroyed them, annahilated them. Herman comes on and say "its only one game." Then Pennington gets hurt, Fieldler gets hurt, the Offensive line gets hurt or turns offensive, Ol' Herm gave up on his team. Good Herm, true fans saw it. When you went on your tirade, we knew what the deal was. Does Joe Torre do it like that? No. He says "when the season is over." That is class. Maybe you'll find it in K.C. Hopefully they find a way to instill some clock management into your playcalling, or some accountability. First you blamed Cotrell, then Hackett, then maybe the special teams guy this year? Blame yourself. You quit.

The Giants-- I knew you were pretenders. They'll be good next year though.

My other team in action seems to have turned it around to some extent- the Knicks. That could change tonight playing Cleveland, but at least they'll show up. We knew there'd be some growing pains, didn't know the'd be quite so acute. At least they are expending the effort. I don't know if Larry Brown meant it, but he seems to have lit a match under some of those guys. I knew he was poking and prodding them, but didn't really know if it would work out. Here's how I see it.
He pushed Marbury to the breaking point, he was ready to cave, but must have (to his credit) learned from his past mistakes and chose to fight back through playing hard. His teamates have responded to help him. To borrow a word from Clyde "galvanized" them. This is by no means a finished product, but it shows me that Larry Brows coaching ability was not thrown out with his bum hip.

The Nets have won 10 straight games. Nice. I really don't follow them, but I know that winning 10 straight is not a joke. V.C. is lighting it up and Jason Kidd is playing well. Good. Like I said, I don't follow them, I really have little insight, except that their head coach looks like Howdy Doody or the guy on the Mad Magazine cover.

Yankees and Mets get no love because pitchers and catchers haven't reported yet.

Rangers are doing well, play the kids, at least they show up.

Made in Taiwan

2006-01-10T13:49:00.000-05:00

I’m wondering out loud, and I suppose that is what a blog is for, what has ever become of the American work ethic?

I was working yesterday with two other people. We all moved along at a pretty fast pace, trying to keep from being stuck there late in the day. We got done at about 2PM, which was good.

While waiting for someone to come and look at the completed job, an electrician came in. He said, “Are you guys done?” “Yes,” I replied. “Are you coming back?” “No” “Tomorrow?” “No.” “Again?” “No” “Huh?”

I wondered about this. The guy didn’t do anything all day, that I saw. I saw him go out for coffee, lunch, to the bathroom twice, but I never saw him do anything work related. Is this how the average American works? It seems like people are masters of looking busy, but really don’t accomplish all that much.

Then I thought, if this is how we work, no wonder we outsource jobs. You always see these people walking around, but actually being busy—not really. I’m thinking that people actually only work for about 20 minutes out of the hour. I’d love to see some kind of study that documents this.

The Blizzard-Archies Reincarnation

2006-01-06T12:34:00.000-05:00

" It has finally happened. Over the course of the last few weeks, Archies remnants have been set free from the macadam, the last vestages of his being wiped clean by the slick blade of a snowplow cleaning this weeks newly fallen 12 inches of snow. It is strange, as I now look out and see that the familiar stain has been removed from the asphalt, the feeling of loss again overwhelms me, as if it was just yesterday, that Archie took his plunge from the porch railing, rolled down the hill and into the street, his final moment spent looking at the grill of a Mack truck as it bore down on him. Then I wonder, sometimes aloud, will Archie be born anew this spring? It isn't so far fetched, since Archies pumpkin guts were strewn all over the surrounding area.

I'll Take Overrated Point Guards for 1000 Alex

2006-01-05T14:25:00.000-05:00

Stephon(ie) Marbury is the worst point guard in the NBA. Why? Since his ridiculous boast last New Year's Eve that he was the best at the position, his team has been the dregs of the league. Surely, the self proclaimed Starbury should be able to overcome any and all obstacles in his fervent pursuit of an NBA title. He has a top five head coach, his hometown, at least some athletic talent around him, young active players in some cases (Frye, Robinson, Lee, Curry (if healthy)), and at least mild support from Isiah Thomas. Serously, at this point, I'd take Charlie Ward or any point guard in the WNBA in lieu of this guy. Maybe we should send him to Miami so Riley can kick him into shape.

Bada Bing Landscaping

2006-01-05T14:18:00.000-05:00

Overheard in Poughkeepsie:

"I have a large family with a long line of a lot of money."

"Why do you do landscaping then?"

"For something to do."

"You watch too much Sopranos."

(From someone else nearby) "Ha Ha, Bada Bing Landscaping."

"They're picking on me :("

Somebody Out There Loves You-- NOT DirectTV

2006-01-05T14:12:00.000-05:00

I'm beginning to dislike Direct TV. It seems as if the signal goes out whenever an airplane or a flock of geese fly over. It is really pissing me off. I like the service, when it works, I have no qualms with that, but when you can't watch stuff because of atmospheric conditions, you kind of wonder.

Then there is that hairy beanbag on TV stating that during a hurricane "he got a great direct tv signal." Bullshit, maybe in the eye of the hurricane before the wind whipped aroun and flung that dish off of your house.

Quote for the Month

2005-12-28T15:11:00.000-05:00

"Sons of bitches.......Bumpuses!"

-- Father from "A Christmas Story"

Again!

2005-12-28T15:10:00.000-05:00

By the way...

Hope you all had a happy and safe holiday. Good luck for 2006.

Something Else.....

2005-12-28T15:07:00.000-05:00

Nice to see that all the people who drove around in the two weeks prior to the holidays in a clueless stupor have finally extricated the heads from their asses or layed off the egg nog.

I have never see such a poor display of vehicular operation this side of a go kart track.

Starks the Herald Angels Sing

2005-12-28T15:02:00.000-05:00

Can it be that I have only posted two things in December? That seems odd. Anyway.... MSG Network carried "Vintage Knicks" games on Christmas Eve. I watched a few snippets of them, then I watched the current Knicks and needed a drink or twelve. Has it really been that long since that team had a chance to win? What a bassackward team they are now. I'm sick at being reduced to watching vintage Knicks games to get to see a victory.

O Canada

2005-12-16T13:57:00.000-05:00

Has anyone with kids ever watched Daniel Cook on Disney? It’s a show for small kids, they seem to like it. Daniel is from Canada I presume. He goes to the zoo or shopping or rides a horse. Stuff kids like to do. Ol’ Daniel probably has more money than Pete will ever have so I guess that’s why I have changed the words to his theme song.

“This is Daniel Cook, he’s a dork, he’s a geek, he is a friggin’ freak. He makes dumb faces in many places, I wish I had a gun….. He’s Daniel Cook. "

" Thank You for Making Money for Me, May I Please Verify Your Documentation on This I-9 Form?

2005-12-15T11:44:00.000-05:00

I haven’t blogged anything in a long time. It has been very busy. Work is at an all time high in terms of how busy this joint actually is. Does that translate into salary? Nah. I doubt it. Anyway, here we go.

Winter has arrived, all the dicks are out doing their Happy Holidays shopping (say Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Heywood Jablowme Day) or whatever you want to call it. Mark has a funny story related to this that I wont ruin for him. Ever notice that the people shopping are just rude? They’ll stab you with a nut pick if you stand and linger over the Dora the Explorer toys too long. Forget about trying to get a train sat or something, they’ll pull out the ol’ Gattling Gun for that.

I went to Barnes and Noble the other day with the kids. There were a few kids playing with the Thomas the Tank Engine stuff. Their Mom was with them. My kids jumped on into the fray. The one kid says “ I want that one,” pointing to one of the boxcars my daughter has scratched out. The Mom says, “ I don’t like that word want. Do you WANT to give something to charity?” To which the boy said, “No.” Uhhh? Wha?

Then the boy keeps whining. The Mom says, “ Does your teacher put up with stuff like that?” “No,” came the reply. “Then why do I?” “Because you have to.” That got a chuckle out of me. Mom says, “ What did he say, because I have to, that’s real funny.” I said, “It’s pretty funny to me,” as I looked at my children playing very nicely. Mom took herself and her two asshole kids out of the store. Hope you get a new Mom for “Happy Holiday” you two turds.

I worked in a “Childrens Playplace that has all sorts of games and whatnot for children to play and also serves food and beverages to children and dispenses shiny little tokens.” We had quite a job there. Let me say this: It was by far the most unsanitary and foul place I have ever been in. I shall never, ever set foot in there without first putting on a Tyvek suit.

A Mr. D. McGovern has installed Anti Virus on my computer thus making it slower than if it was infected with the Ebola Virus and melting into pixels on my desk. Every two seconds it is loading update this, update that, update to number 16. I mean Jesus H. Holiday, give me a good ol’ Trojan Horse Virus anyday over all that crap.

I went to out annual Holiday Party. At the same tired place, at the same tired time, with the same old crap. If it is there next year I will not go. I think I blogged about it last year so it is most likely detailed in that entry so, “Ditto.”

I worked the last few days at a hospital and have probably breathed in 70 times the TLV of Fe(from the periodic table of elements). Nice, guess I wont have a deficiency, but maybe I’ll have an iron lung. While there I was also overdosed with bullshit.

So the story goes: Until I choose to finish it.

Unspeakable Horror Again

2005-11-28T15:19:00.000-05:00

So they came by this past Friday, Black Friday. They were the people from the Bureau. They were looking into what happened to Archie. They came the day after Thanksgiving, and they wanted to know what happened. It had been close to a month since Archie met his demise in front of that apple truck.

They came and did forensics on the area where it happened, measuring angles of descent, condition of the grass, the height of the wall, etc… Perhaps the most disturbing test involved smacking cadavers against a huge rock at terrific force. It was horrific, but in the name of science.

Poor Archie, the evidence of his demise is still present on the roadway despite the snowfall of last week and the road being plowed and salted.

Croissant? WTF For?

2005-11-23T10:07:00.000-05:00

BWWWWHAAAAAAHAAAA!

Happy Thanksgiving

2005-11-22T10:47:00.000-05:00

Nice Golden Brown Bird-$25.00
Vegetables-$15.00
Cranberry Sauce- $2.00
Beverages- $ 10.00
Adult Beverages- $50.00
________________________

TOTAL= $102.00

Saving money not buying pay for view boxing- $ 49.99
Learning new verbal warfare- $15.00
The theraputic value of laughter-$40.00
_________________________

TOTAL= $ 104.99

Looks like well make $2.99 on Thursday

The Fart Machine is Possessed

2005-11-22T09:28:00.000-05:00

There is a meeting here today. A meeting where we will just discuss various nonsense and budgetary stuff. I have taken the liberty of bringing in the "fart machine" for my listening pleasure. You control that fart machine via remote control and it farts when you press the button. However, due to some quirk of the environment or atmosphere, it just sets itself off from time to time. That should make for better potty humor for me.

Maybe "fart machine" isn't politically correct. How are these:
Mechanical wind machine, flatuation station, the whistling pucker, the burping starfish, the blasphemous breezer, the gas pump, the ....................

Try This

2005-11-22T09:24:00.000-05:00

Yummy.

I'd Like Some Bullshit on My Pizza

2005-11-21T13:32:00.000-05:00

I was in the pizza joint today with Mark as we waited for his lunch. We had just barely sat down and we were so delighted to be able to overhear these pearls of wisdom. There were two guys at another table, one was a plain looking guy who we won’t mention anymore because he was just listening. The other guy, who looked like he had stolen the clothes off of a corpse, was the big smeller, uh, I mean talker. It went like this:

“……… my mentor said, better to have a sparse existence, than one above your means. You know, live off of what you have. These young people in these big houses, with mortgages, maybe two of them, the housing market going bad, you are going nowhere. These people have credit card debts, car payments, whatever else. And these spoiled kids got to college and get 2 or 3 degrees, their parents pay for, throw them out of the house and let them rot in the gutter. You know what a credit costs at Local Community College? $800.00 a semester ** EDITORS NOTE: Pure bullshit!** A person with an IQ of over 130 can’t go to college unless there are upper middle class. There are autistics and dyslexics that are really smart that can’t go to school. **EDITORS NOTE AGAIN: Since when did genetics take heed of socioeconomic status?**

I don’t really remember the rest, maybe Mark does. I was kind of surprised at the blatant vocal ignorance of this dirty guy. I snuck a peek at him again, a long enough peek to get a look at his “wild looking lazy eye” and his huge black winter boots with tan polyester dress pants tucked into the top. I briefly wondered if he was a character in Fargo.

The pizza was done and we left. I was thinking about thanking him for enriching my life with his wisdom, but my head hurt from 5 minutes of getting dumber by the second. So with “taht I tankh you for listneing to my stuphid nonsense.”

If I was ever fortunate enough to become a very powerful man, I might consider forced sterilization.

Should Have Known

2005-11-17T14:30:00.000-05:00

The Knicks lost to the Lakers. Half expected that. Good thing is I like the way the Knicks play D. I would have been a bit happier if someone would have knocked Kobe down a few, twelve, times as he drove the lane. Overall I'll give them a C+, but I am biased having cut my basketball teeth on the Ewing, Oakley, Doc Rivers, Derek Harper type of defense. You think Kobe would have drove the lane if Oakley was under there. Remember what they used to do with Pippen sans Jordan?

FEMA

2005-11-16T15:54:00.000-05:00

One of the workers here calls the boss FEMA.

Why you ask?

"Because he shows up after everything is done."

That is the funniest thing I heard all day.

What I Did Yesterday

2005-11-16T15:20:00.000-05:00

I had the pleasure of having my daughter with me yesterday for about 30 minutes before we picked up her brother at school. It isn't too often that I am just with her. I asked her if she would hold my hand while we were driving in the car. I reached back to her carseat and she took my hand in her little hand and held it. I couldn't think of anything that I would have rather been doing at that moment. The limitless supply of love that a small child has is what keeps you young. Soon enough she will not want to hold my hand or be seen with me. I'll take whatever I can get and remember it always.

Phil Jackson is a Penis

2005-11-16T10:08:00.000-05:00

Phil Jackson has admitted that he used the Knicks as leverage for the Lakers job.

Gee Thanks Phil! We all didn't know that when you first took your sorry song to NYC last summer.

Please stay out there and take Charlie Rosen with you.

I hope to see a vision much like this picture tonight on my television at about 10:15. At 10:16 the camera will cut to you rubbing your flavor saver and wishing you were home with Jeannie Buss you douche.

Hazzard County of The Union

2005-11-15T15:03:00.000-05:00

If you ever looked in the card catalog at the library for an inane title like “ridiculous shit” or “totally asinine” you might be apt to come across with this stuff.

If you look back in my blog there is an entry Free Speech vs. Offensive BS. If you read the link you’ll see that some jerk distributed some racist stuff to the local populace, threw some literature around at some of the schools and in some neighborhoods. The Superintendent of Schools called the cops they took a report. The local newspaper picked up on it and wrote an article about it. The Police Chief said that there was a problem a few years back with a certain someone and they knew who he was. The individual was identified as a “white supremacist.” They should have left it alone.

Move forward a week or so later. A white teenager is assaulted just off of school grounds. He is assaulted by another teenager, who is a person of color. His friend tried to help him and is also assaulted. The person committing the assault was arrested.

Go further forward in time. Another white teenager is assaulted, again by a person of color.

In both instances there were some words exchanged between both parties involved. Once the white kid was called a “neo nazi” and once the kid was apparently called a “whigger.”
Neither term is a complement.

The individual who was identified as a “white supremacist” approached on of the kids mothers. He puts her in touch with a guy who has an internet radio show and website. She says that there are hate crimes being committed at the school. He takes it and runs with it. He wants to have a protest, by whatever means necessary, he wants action. He schedules something, but it never comes off, he says it is a hoax and that he did it to see what would happen and keep the community off guard.

The mother has since said that she did not intend to cause this kind of furor and was mislead.

Move forward with me to this Saturday November 19,2005. There is supposed to be a demonstration outside of the high school by this group who are protesting under the guise of “these crimes are hate crimes against whites and we will not tolerate this.” There is supposed to be a counter protest at the same time. Will anything happen? I have my doubts. Will there be a protest? A semblance of one. People are talking about staying inside, going out of town, and pretty much making up their own stuff.

Here is what I think:

Somebody distributed this literature and got a rise out of the school. The Police Chief made a stupid comment and implied some sort of guilt to this guy they had trouble with a few years before. The guy didn’t like this. He said on the local newspapers web forum that someone had come to his house and had committed an act of vandalism, to add insult to injury. Now I don’t care if this guy is or is not a “white supremacist,” but his house is his house and it should not be vandalized. Maybe I don’t agree with his beliefs, but it is his right to express himself, provided he doesn’t violate the law.

Anyway, this guy has some sort of connection with these groups. These two assaults take place. He jumps in and fans the flames a) because he feels like it b) he believes in the cause c) he wants justice d) who knows…. Anyway, he puts “mama” in touch with this guy, they set this thing up and people get scared.

Do assaults happen at schools? Yes, they do. Do assaults happen between different ethnicities? Certainly. Do teenagers say stupid stuff? Absolutely. Do we have a race issue here? Only if you choose to spin it that way.

My high school recollection may be a little hazy, but there were 3 or 4 fights a week, and they were not race related, but I must say that the school was 97% Caucasian. However, if it was 50/50, I have no doubt that there would be fights between all ethnicities, because that is, after all, the nature of high school.

Somebody is advancing his or her (after all we cannot assume that this person is a man for that would be sexist) own personal agenda. They stirred the pot, got a reaction, a little news coverage, two assaults took place, they latched on, a protest, recognition, two more minutes of fame, a small city with politicians that stumble over each other at every opportunity. The lure was the “propaganda” that was circulated. The “leaders” bought into it hook, line and sinker.

Look back at what I said, “don’t validate their twisted point.” How about “keep it quiet and find out who did it” or “they provoked you and got a response.”

This isn’t rocket science guys, it is sociology on the most basic level.

Someone fished, you bit, now you have something to contend with. I hope that if it happens at all it is peaceful. I’m tempted to go, but don’t want to be associated with any of it. There is too much rhetoric being bandied about.

I hope it rains like hell on all of you.

Who's Your Scott Farkas?

2005-11-11T10:59:00.000-05:00

In an anonymous place yesterday………..

“Why did you bring that baby in here?” said the grubby looking first grader.
“Wha?” was my startled response.
“Why did you bring that baby in here? I don’t like babies!”
“Yeah, OK,” I said.
“I don’t like babies, why di?”
“Look, maybe babies don’t like you either, so be quiet. For a kid that goes to Catholic School, I don’t think that is very nice, so just stop it. You are just a rude kid, rude.”

At which point said baby said “yeah rude, rude.”

Nice.

Yeah- The Department of Labor vs. The Department of the Unemployable

2005-11-10T14:48:00.000-05:00

I don't wish anyone to be jobless. If you are, I'm sure that some of you would rather be working. My rant is about those who choose to be unemployed and then go to cry to the government that they are unemployed. I'm sure that if you look you will find something you are able to do. Instaed people go to the DOL and say, " they fired me, I don't know why?" Maybe you neglected to tell them that you went AWOL from work for a week? Maybe you didn't tell them that you told the person who you are working for an outright lie? Maybe you didn't say that you could never work afternoons, nights or weekends, but that you could just work between the hours of 8:15AM to 9:30, but only on days when it didn't rain or on days that is was fully sunny?

But who helps them out? The Department of Labor. Enables them. Entitles them. Makes the employer justify why the employee was let go, then awards them the compensation anyway.

Again, people become unemployed, unemployment is to help you while your are down, but only until you get up. It isn't there to be a crutch for you to lean on forever. Same goes for welfare. People are dealt some harsh realities and welfare is there to help them, but it is not meant to be constant sustainance.

Yes, I said it because I believe it.

The NUTTmeg State

2005-11-03T14:24:00.000-05:00

I think George W. gets an unfair shake sometimes, but this is a funny sign, it would be funnier if it was actually a sign and not a photshop montage.

I guess they should be happy he didn't close the Groton Sub base.

Knick Knocks

2005-11-03T14:13:00.000-05:00

Whoa! That was a horrible display of basketball last night. Worse than the Dan Dickau destruction of 1/11/05. Can you make a free throw, handle the ball, use your head a little? Larry Brown looked so pissed, I thought he was going to pull out his catheter and stomp on it.

One item to note: Jamal Crawford should not just start the game on the bench, he should remain there.

Blogs of Note

2005-11-03T14:04:00.000-05:00

Anyone who uses Blogger has seen the Blogs of Note links on the dashboard. I've looked at a few and I wonder who picks them out. Funny thing is most of them, not all, seem to be pretty average. I've seen some that were good, some that were really well done, and some, well, they just sucked. I like Marks Five Random Blogs thing, his evaluations are truthful.

The Blogs of Note Phenomenon is perplexing. I read one blog where people just comment how great the author is and I wonder to myself if the author just puts their own comments in there. I doubt that is the case, but ... I've seen people offer to meet each other to discuss "book deals" and such on the in the comment forum. I guess if you can glean that information from a blog entry of 2,000 words, you are in the right line of work.

I guess I just look at it that way because about 6 people have viewed this blog since I put the site meter in it.

The Pumpkin Chronicles

2005-11-02T10:33:00.000-05:00

I told my son what happened to the pumpkin, it went like this:

"Do you know the pumpkin that had the beer bottle in its mouth?"

"Yes."

"He drank too much and fell off the porch and rolled into the road and got hit by a car."

"Oh No!"

"What do you think about that?"

"I think it is pretty bad."

"I think you are right."

Finally!

2005-11-02T09:51:00.000-05:00

Basketball season has officially started. Hopefully The Garden will be rocking this year.

The Horror

2005-11-01T11:09:00.000-05:00

It was a beautiful Halloween evening. Small children were moving through the neighborhood, collecting candy. There was no moon visible on this Halloween and most of the trees still had their bright colored leaves. The night was unusually warm and gave no hint of the horror that was to come and the forces that would conspire to take a life in its prime.

I awoke to find what was left of him in the road. A flattened mess of guts and gore. He had been struck by a vehicle and the force of the impact had elongated his squat frame. He had been lying there for awhile judging by the moisture that had gathered by his corpse. Surprisingly, were no skid marks.

I have pieced together this accident as best as I can. Here is my version of it, it may be too gory for the average reader. Read on at your own risk.

“He was a drunkard. He enjoyed his beer and liquor. Occasionally he got into the harder stuff like Mad Dog 20/20 and Wild Irish Rose. On this evening he was watching the kids going up and down the street trick or treating and drinking Pacifico. After 8PM the kids left the neighborhood and he opened the twist top on his tenth beer in the last two hours. The bottle stuck out of his maw at a grotesque angle as he sat there with a wise ass smirk on his face. He was teetering back and forth on the railing of the porch as he worked on number twelve.

He saw what looked like a bird fly into the chimney, and as he craned his head to see what it was, he fell backwards off of the porch railing.

The force of the five foot fall shattered the back of his head with a sickening sound, the bottle lay next to him, spewing its contents onto the grass. Fate conspired against him yet again. The front lawn is a hill and he rolled gathering momentum on his way down the lawn. He was semi conscious at the time, but couldn’t move enough to combat gravity. He rolled further down the lawn, hitting a small rock and losing a piece of his head. Then he got to the wall. It is only three feet tall. He fell off of it, again smashing into the hard ground. He rolled another three feet and was lying in the road, unconscious from falling off the wall.

What happened next, he doesn’t know, thankfully. A truck delivering apples from the cold storage place down the road, hit his motionless body sometime that night. I’ll guess that at least 9 of its 18 wheels hit him. He was dead. There was nothing anyone could have done at all. It was too late. When I found him in the morning there was nothing I could do but scrape him off the road and thrown him into the weeds. Wasted life, cut down in his prime.”

He was “Archie,” my albino pumpkin, that rolled into the road, and was squashed like the fat gourd that he was. At least he went out in a blaze of glory.

Rest in Pieces my hollowed out friend.

Free Speech vs. Offensive B.S.

2005-10-27T08:52:00.000-04:00

First read the below link.

http://www.dailyfreeman.com/site/news.cfm?BRD=1769&dept_id=74958&newsid=15461387&PAG=461&rfi=9

Now read this.

I find the fact that somebody distributed swatstikas outside of schools and private residences as cowardly. I do not condone this, however, it does not upset me either. I'm sure that when I recheck this article in the paper there will be a public outcry. Who did this? I have no clue. My guess would be that it was done by a bunch of kids screwing around, their thinking being"man a swatstika is cool." Well, I guess it is cool from a design standpoint, but its association with Nazi Germany is not.

In reading the article, you glean that this was random and that they will attempt to find out who did this. That would be good if done on a local level, federal? That's just dumb. My beef is with the selective enforcement. Derek answered them on the webforum and I agree with him. If you are going to go around and attempt to find who is responsible for violating the Vehicle and Traffic Law, then you had better hire more police. It is true. There is always something being left on cars, most of the time, you take it off the window and throw it out and enough said, but this is a related issue. Why the big deal?

What about this? Wouldn't it have been wise for the schools to call the police, but not have this publicized? Why serve notice that you have been offended? Keep it quiet, look for who did it, but don't validate their twisted point. You just gave whoever did this a sounding board. You gave them reason to do it again. They provoked you so you responded back in a larger forum. How stupid is that?

BTW: Dereks blog is at http://blog.megacity.org

Massachusetts Turnpike Smokes Hog

2005-10-26T15:34:00.000-04:00

I have a good story for y'all. I took my kids on a trip to a museum in Massachusetts this past weekend. Most of the eastern seaboard has this thing called EZ Pass where you pay tolls for the highway via a small transponder that is mounted on your windshield, well Ma. is no different, except they call it Fastpass. It works the same way. You have a choice of lanes to go to. You can go to an EZPass only lane, a full service lane or an exact change lane. New York is like that, New Jersey is like that. Ditto Delaware,Maryland,Virginia,West Virginia and any major airport in New York State. It is even like that in Ma; except for the line I got into on the way home after driving halfway through the state.

I'm in the left lane, it is raining heavily and I come to the toll barrier. Three lanes are open, far left, middle and right (but the light is out in the right hand one). So I elect to stay left and go to full service. As I roll through at under 5MPH the guy yells "Hey!" I stop. He tells me so nicely," This isn't a Fastpass lane!" I said,"Why not?" "Cause it's not!" "There are signs that say it can be used in any lane." "Not in Massachusetts!" "Yes, in Massachusetts." "$3.50." "You want me to give you $3.50." "Yes." "No, why should I give you $3.50." "You have to." "Why should I? Go press the button and I'll be on my way."" Well, go then, you'll just pay it later." "Maybe or maybe not jerk, now go back in your booth Willie."

My son says, "Dad, why is that guy yelling at you?" I said, "Because some people are just born jerks."

"That's it, I'm coming out of da booooothhhhhhha!"
-- Adam Sandler as "Tollbooth Willie."

http://www.zug.com/pranks/turnpike/

Hehehe

2005-10-26T15:30:00.000-04:00

http://www.collegestories.com/storyview.aspx?sid=381

Open this link and you'll know of what I speak. This is some funny stuff.

Ass

2005-10-21T11:30:00.000-04:00

HEE HAW! HEE HAW

HE HE HE HEHONKEY ONKEY ONKEY!

Don Quixote Spots Another Windmill

2005-10-21T11:18:00.000-04:00

" and the world keeps on spinning..................."

"I'm asking you to do it on Sunday if he can't do it on Saturday." "Why don't you just tell them to fuck off, we don't do Sundays." "Just do it, I'll give whoever Monday off." "I'll see, but..." "Well I don't know what else to do, but I'll be doing this other job, I don't know why they call at the last minute to get these things done." "Because they're assholes," I said. "One of you two has to do it, I don't have anyone else, we have to do this." "Yeah,ok, I'll see," I stated, feeling like an violin that has been passed down from generation to generation.

I ended the call and Don Quixote moved on in serch of another windmill to fight.

Don Quixote

2005-10-20T18:06:00.000-04:00

“Here, you take this, it’s Joe,” she said. “Yeah Joe,” I said as I picked up the phone. Joe said, “Listen, I got a call from XYZ Construction, they want us to do a job on Saturday.” I listened incredulously. “Joe, you told me that if you ever wanted to do business with XYZ that I should shoot you,” I said. A snicker went up from an anonymous person. “Yeah I know, but the guy called and he had nobody to do it for him,” came the reply. “Well, did they pay for the job we did in July?” “No, but the guy said they were going to.” “Screw them,” I said. “Pete, he has nobody else to do it, he doesn’t know what happened, he has only worked there for a little while.” “ Joe! You told me that we will do no business with XYZ period!” “ I know, I know, but the guy needs help, can you do it Saturday?” “No I can not. I am unavailable on Saturday.” Well, ask Mark, of he can’t do it then I’ll do it.” “Ok, but I would suggest to you that before you commence work on this job that you demand payment for the previous job and current job, up front.” “Yeah, yeah….”

I hung up and held my head. “ You know, he is like a guy in a phone booth chasing dollars that are swirling around him,” I said. “No he’s not,” came the reply, “he’s like the donkey that didn’t want to walk up the hill. So what did they do, they hung a carrot on a stick and put it in front of the donkey and he walked up the hill.”

I think that sums it up exactly.

A Walk Down Koenig Drive

2005-10-20T10:02:00.000-04:00

So – Here it is, a Thursday morning, and I am on the telephone with the everlovely New York State Department of Taxation and Finance. I paid them Income Tax that was due and they cashed the check, and it was for an amount under $100.00. Anyway, I get a letter in the mail that essentially says, “you are supposed to pay your taxes, we can do this to you and we can do that to you, and we will just pretty much fuck you in the ass.”

Highly annoyed I am I tell you as I sit here and listen to their “musak” interspersed with a gentleman saying “your call is important to us as we would like to get our grubby little hands on all your money because our state is so ass backward that we waste money every single day on things like the governors imported toilet paper.” So I’m still waiting as I type this, feeling my blood pressure rise with each passing minute. I think my head might just explode and add a reddish stain to the already water damaged tile of the ceiling. Wait a minute—I hear the phone ringing--- please hold---

OK- looks like they cashed it, put it in the wrong place, “yes, we see it here, but we can’t access it, you need to contact the protest unit.” Yes, please proceed, I’d love to protest, I’m all about protesting you treating me poorly, sending me a threatening letter you fuc--- “Ahh yes, Ms. @$%#!!, I was transferred here because my tax payment has been put into the wrong account, yes I’ll give my Social Security Number again, I’ll hold.” “ Oh you see it, that’s good, a two step process, ok, I understand, really? Why? That seems kind of silly, borderline retarded, Oh, I’ll get a letter in the mail. Will it say that the Department is sorry? No? Why? That’s too bad, I was hoping for a letter from the Comptroller. May I please send the Department an invoice from my employer for a half an hour of billable time that I wasted because your offices are only open during my work hours and this needed to be addressed immediately? No? Why? I might be liable for the interest, that hardly seems correct? It should zero out. Well that would only seem right. Ok, Ms. @$%#!!, thank you for possibly straightening out this situation for me. Have a good day.”

Bite me!

I’m getting tired of this local government bullshit. I really have no qualms with the Federal Government, I understand that the United States thinks it is the worlds’ police power and we fight foreign wars because of it. I admire the soldiers for enlisting, even though most of them probably thought it was “just free college.” George W. has been dealt some serious crap, he’s probably handled it in the best way. Yes, I know FEMA is incompetent, we have a horrible war going on, we can’t find Tim Ossman, a.k.a. Osama Bin Laden. George W. has caused global warming, caused gay people to be insecure, secretly moved to have “Gilligan” die, I say this all in jest. He did the same as anyone would have done in the situations as they presented themselves.

Onto local government:

The county which I live in has just raised the tax levy 49%, the city, in which I used to live, raised taxes 9%, the mayor there gave himself a 15K raise, there are no well paying jobs forcing everyone to commute, the housing market has been driven up to astronomical heights because all the “cidiots” have moved up from the 5 Boroughs, gas is still expensive like everywhere else, and now all these election signs are up to vote for this guy or gal, and they just clutter up the landscape, and they are just all irresponsible douchebags, and the ones who are elected are all part of the “old boys network” or as put to me today, “an incestuous cesspool.” They get into fistfights at legislative meetings. Bullshit.

The roads are falling apart, yet you pay tolls to drive on some of them. Welfare, which I believe in for those who need it, is being abused. Same people in the same places, then they die and their kids take over, eventually, nobody remembers about it, and we name a street or a building at the local community college after them and say what nice people the were as they tore out the linings of the community’s collective pockets for the last half Century.

I digress again. I’m railing against the machine. Now, please excuse me as I go back to work, like you, so we can keep these jerks in office.

Are Those Your Blue Balls?

2005-10-10T15:05:00.000-04:00

I was on the road this morning, Mark was driving. A Ford F- (whatever the fuck number) was in front of us stopped at the light. From the tow bar was suspended two blue scrote enclosed balls. Very funny. Funnier yet was that when the truck moved they both swung around in the most lifelike fashion. I was amused. More amusing would be if a woman was driving and that she had a mullett.

Much Delayed Knicks Post

2005-10-10T14:54:00.000-04:00

I haven't written about the Knicks recently, probably because I had no idea what they were trying to do. I think I have a good general idea, but still not positive. So I had better make my prediction before it becomes hindsight.

Wins: 45 Losses: 37
All Stars: 2 (Stephon Marbury, Eddy Curry)
Playoffs: First Round Exit

The team will be more defensive oriented thanks to Larry Brown and will not go through so many droughts on the offensive end. They will have to play team ball to win these 45 games, if they don't they will only win 35, if they gel early and remain on track, maybe closer to 50 games. Still too flawed to make a deep run in the post season, but better than the last few years of the lottery.

Change of Weather

2005-10-10T14:42:00.000-04:00

I just realized that I haven't written anything in awhile, so I apologize to the three people who read this. I have been really tired this past week or 10 days. I think it has to do with the change in the weather.

It has been absolutely miserable here for the last few days. Heavy rain all weekend. There was no way to do anything outdoors. It is raw and grey, just generally disgusting Seattle type weather. Last nice day was Thursday of last week. That and today is a pseudo holiday and I am at work, and I appear to be the only one at work

Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!!

2005-09-29T09:36:00.000-04:00

Alles Gute zum Geburtstag zum besten und schönsten Mädchen, das ich kenne. Lieben Sie Baby!!

Overheard in Clintondale

2005-09-28T21:07:00.000-04:00

This discussion happened while I was eating tonight

Anonymous person #1-- Where is the cup?
Anonymous person #2-- Wha?
A #1-- The thing to put my tea bag on! You take it?
A#2-- I guess

Do this if you want to laugh. Go to www.urbandictionary.com and type in teabag.

Jets Bring Back Vinny

2005-09-28T21:03:00.000-04:00

The Jets brough back Testicleverde! I'm thinking of switching my allegiances to San Diego. At least Vinny can throw the ball downfield.

Geez, Golly,Darn

2005-09-20T13:52:00.000-04:00

"Gosh, I don't know why that mean man has it in fer' me y'all. I was just drivin', you know, making all those left turns one after another after another and I just got thinkin' 'bout what I could eat fer' dinner, an' I guess I just got in the side of 'em. Ya' know, racin' is racin', but to throw yer' helmut at me is just rude. Rude, rude, rude."

Standpipe

2005-09-19T15:59:00.000-04:00

The guy with the straw cowboy hat leaned over as he sat on the siamese fire department connection. He has sat there for years, more than he can remember through his self induced alcoholic haze. They've rebuilt the sidewalk three times around him since 1978, each time removing the stains and mess that had accumulated there. He had a job, a house, a family once, now all he is left with is his bottle and that nagging pain, the pain that says he won't see the sidewalk built around him again.

His name is Paul and I can see him outside the office window right now.

Chad Flapped his Dumbo Ears

2005-09-19T15:57:00.000-04:00

The Jets won in an ugly game. Whoo Hoo!

Cockroaches

2005-09-16T15:54:00.000-04:00

I'm helping to organize a golf tournament and one of the things I do is try to get businesses to donate something so the organization can give the stuff away as prizes so the golfers who do well don't go away with just a trophy. I had a few gift certificates that I had to drop off, so I took off on the 5 minute walk down there. As I merge out onto the street, I am behind a 25-28 year old woman. I walk about 25 feet and a guy comes running up to her from across the street. She throws up her hand when he reaches 5 feet away and says " Derogatory Racial Term- The N Word--- Please!!" He stands there bewildered as I walk past. Go about 100 feet, a guy in his parked car beeps and yells "come here!" She looks over her shoulder and says "whatever!" I keep walking. Another guy comes up, again from across the street and says, "I'm really, really mad at you..." She puts her hand in his face and tells him to "shut up." All this and she doesn't break a stride. I stopped in a store and got a Coke. When I came out after maybe 30 seconds she was down the street. Still more suitors/friends/former lovers/unknown people continuing their procession to speak to her, all with no hope of suceeding with the Pied Piper of Main Street.

A Sorry State

2005-09-16T11:44:00.000-04:00

Why do we, as a society, want children to grow up so fast. Born, home fast, daycare, crawl, walk, talk, playdates, cartoons, Baby Einstein, kids golf clubs, a baseball glove, a parents expectation level, Kindergarten at 5. “There is no time to be a kid anymore Johnny, would you please cook dinner and look after your sister? Maybe throw in a load of wash or two?”

I’m just as guilty as anyone else I’m sure, but I’m beginning to recognize some things that just aren’t that important when it comes to a childs well being.

Little boy x gets upset because little boy y is a bully. Little boy x comes home from school all wound up. It takes him 45 minutes to calm down. What do you do?

A little girl gets in trouble because she “should” be potty trained by 2.33 years old. Why?

Kids need to make the cross of the A hit the middle dotted line to get perfect penmanship. Why? Ever see a doctor write?

Kindergarteners get homework?? Why? They can’t get it done during the day?

Does anyone have any answers? Anyone? Anyone?

Heap that stuff on top of a 5 year old and no wonder kids take lithium, prozac, have ADD/ADDHD. Kind of sad when you think about it over time.

The Beet

2005-09-15T14:33:00.000-04:00

I miss my "Beet."

Marks NBA Predictions

2005-09-15T14:08:00.000-04:00

Mark has called me out on his blog, www.nctb.blogspot.com about the NBA and that I said Tim Duncan is overrated. He is, but that is besides the point. I look forward to him finding the time and handicapping the field. I'm realatively sure that he will be at least 90% accurate.

Here are a few quick things that I'll long for during the 2005-06 NBA season:

A Knicks-Bulls game on Christmas Day, Hakeem Olajuwon canning a jumper from the baseline, Karl Malone hitting Isiah Thomas in the head, Ewing hitting a turnaround, Reggie Miller making fun of Spike Lee, Jordan talking trash, hand checks, elbows in the back, Dennis Rodman and his hair, Scottie Pippen not getting off the bench, Charles Oakley and Barkley, Marv Albert, The Charlotte Hornets,Pat Riley on the sidelines at MSG, Larry Johnson baiting Alonzo Mourning to punch him, Larry Bird, Magic- pre retirement, John Starks wearing a plexiglass mask.

I'll think of more